Acceptance: Stage 5

After suffering through the previous four stages I am at last at the end. Having come to grips with mans mortality, I've decided that it is time to accept things as they are and not assign undue blame to anyone. The Lord gives and takes and who are we to question when and how? My brother told me that everything evens out through death, that eventually everything will make sense. I guess I'm only just beginning to understand what my purpose is, and I will likely not fully understand until I have crossed the veil and enter eternity. When you read this post, think about a loved one that you lost, and you may find that the reason you no longer grieve their loss is because you discovered that they aren't really lost. They really have been found.

Depression : Stage 4

I didn't think I would really suffer through this stage, and if I hadn't had 3 vaccinations the day before I might still be stuck on stage 3. From having two flu vaccines and a tetness shot I woke up this morning shaky, nauseous, sore, and with a splitting headache. As I lay in my bed, shivering despite more than adequate insulation, my mouth hanging open, I realized just how similar my plight was to that of my fathers. Except that I knew I would get better, and I still have my mind. He has neither. I lay there thinking about how he must be feeling, perhaps only down in the very core of his being, and I was moved with empathy. And with my empathy came the bitter taste of depression at acknowledging my fathers mortality. In the case of depression, the best way to get through it is to have a rock, an anchor. Be it a person or an ideal, you need to have a sturdy element with which to whether the storm. Stay tuned my faithful readers for the eventual conclusion to this 5 part series.

Bargaining: Stage 3

Finally, the anger subsides and reality starts to creep from behind the turbulent clouds of the now ebbing storm of emotions. Your thoughts begin to invent what-if scenario after scenario of how things could have been avoided or averted. If only you had known sooner, if you had seen a specialist, and many other like stories dance through your imagination. These daydreams of a better life are only an escape measure from reality, though, so don't dwell on them. This is the shortest lived stage for most people, in part because you know that your fantasies aren't helping anyone and time is just passing you by. It is my belief that not everyone experiences these stages exactly the same way, perhaps even skipping or repeating a stage or stages. In any case I sympathize with those who suffer the next stage.