Meeting Our Holiday Ghosts

I'm sure everyone who reads this is familiar with Charles Dickens' "A Christmas Carol." Throughout the night of Christmas Eve he is "haunted" by phantoms of holiday seasons past, present, and future. What was, is, and may be "haunts" us all to an extent, I suppose. But as I was thinking about that story, I paused to think what those spirits might have shown me. Waking up at 5:00 in the morning and waiting impatiently for my parents to wake up at 6:00 so we could go open our gifts. Sneaking peeks at the Christmas tree and how many gifts Santa had brought. A flurry as gifts almost explode out of their wrapping, the blazing fire consuming the remains. I tried to remember a specific year, but I realized that I couldn't really. I don't have specific memories of Christmases past, just thoughts and feelings. As for the present Christmas, I'm trying to keep my expectations lower than usual. Our family has had a trying year and is not financially on its feet yet. I'm sure we have had similar years in the past too, and that's what makes those past Christmases so beautiful in my mind. That despite our situation, we have never not had presents on Christmas. We have always had something waiting for us under the tree and in our stockings. As to Christmases yet to come? I confess no small amount of anxiety over what it will be like. For two years I will be sleeping in a bed that is not my own, the familiarity of my "home town" far behind me. After that, I can hardly imagine what life will be like. Marriage, children, and Christmases of our own. It must be an interesting thing for parents to watch their children grow up like that. So today, think back to a Christmas that you loved. Whether it was as a teenager, the first as a couple, the first with a child, or just memorable. Think of what your own Holiday Ghosts might show you of your past, present, and future.

Fate, Karma, and Luck: Fortune's Trinity

Because of a spur-of-the-moment decision, I got a puppy this past week. It got me thinking about many such moments in my past. How have they effected me? And those around me? As children, when we make friends, are those snap judgments? Perhaps its our intuition of those it would be to our advantage to be around. If that is the case, then one could say that friendship is natural selection of a kind. But what about those that aren't chosen? Do they simply live out their lives in inferiority, because of forces beyond their control? Is it luck? In other parts of the world they believe in Karma- that we have reaped what we have sown because of what happened in a past life. Thus we are responsible for our own actions. And what of Fate- the belief that all actions are predisposed? If that is the case, then there is no such thing as spontaneity. Such things are simply actions that were then unforeseeable. So what do you believe? That everything is fated to happen a certain way? That past lives determined who we are? Or do people just get lucky? In any and all cases, we must be aware of the consequences of our actions. If things are fated to happen, lets believe that we were meant to be good people. If past actions defined us, then lets put faith in our predecessors. And if what happens in life is simply the wheel of fortune turning about, then I guess we can do no worse by trying our hardest.

The Elusive Inner Child

I took a moment to think about the beautiful, but short lasting sensations that we encounter throughout our lives. The feel of a cool breeze after a rain storm, the smell of a brand new book on the shelf. They are the what makes our everyday lives meaningful. Without them, our whole lives are an endless sea of gray with only the occasional blip of color. The feeling that accompanies opening the front door in the morning and breathing in the crisp, relatively fresh air and smiling. Or the feeling of confidence and dominion that one gets when you take a curve on the freeway perfectly.We never talk about them, but in reality they make our day every day. Take some time to think back to those childhood days long gone, when you never took anything for granted. When you could sit and watch the yeast rising in the measuring cup, pretending it was a bomb or was going to pour over the sides. Back when dandelions were flowers, not weeds, that you could take home and give to your mother. In essence, rejoice in the little things in life. That is what I think it means to find your "inner child," return to when you could wonder at everyday things.

Life Comes at You Fast

Today, I was driving to school listening to Akon on 103.9 FM. I was stopped at a light when a truck rear-ended me. Frustrated, I pulled over and the other driver did the same. We traded information and went on our way. When I returned to my humble abode after an otherwise uneventful day, I found a bit of mail for me. Jury duty. I look back at when I was registering to vote and wonder if I should have. McCain didn't win the election and now I may have to serve my country in one of the most boring ways. Is there a particular reason why Miss Fortune smiles on some, but grinds her heels into others? I was discussing the idea of Karma ( Why are they always women names?) with a close friend and determined that Karma (like many women) is far from even tempered. There are the days when you find a dirty twenty dollar bill in the gutter, and then there are the days when you can't seem to avoid getting killed. If there is a way to please you Miss Fortune, please call me. You know the number.

Escape: Sweet or Sour?

On the bus today I was visiting my favorite fantasy getaway. I realized, that for those of us that are city dwellers often think of an Escape as getting away from the city, living a more down-to-Earth lifestyle. At the same time, those who live in less populated or rural areas believe that going to a big city would be the perfect Escape from their monotonous lives. I find it ironic that nobody can seem to relax in their own environment. We are compelled to Migrate, as it were, to an area complimentary to the one in which we reside. Is this just our small way of exploring the unknown and trying new things? Is it possible we look at others and covet what they have because they seem to lead more fulfilled lives? Does a country boy dream of the bustle in a sleepless city? Likewise, does a city girl wish she could go horseback riding through endless plains and look up at the star speckled sky? So the question posed is: What is the motivation? Answer: Who knows? It could be as simple as boredom and an interest in new surroundings. Or it could be as complex as an inescapable prompting to return to our roots, to explore our origins. As selfless as taking the family to Disneyland, or as selfish as wanting your Own cabin in the mountains.

Examining Imaginary Friends

It has been the practice of children all over the world to have an imaginary friend with whom they share all of their hopes, dreams, secrets, and fears. What first instigated this idea? It would have had to start with children knowing that often there is more than meets the eye. That some things are, in fact, invisible. Often times, parents encourage young children to have an imaginary friend, because their child is struggling socially or simply needs a vent for an overactive imagination. But what if there actually is something to these "imaginary" friends? Intangible guardians for those in need, self sacrificing and willing to take the blame for any number of misdeeds. At times, they are the only one to talk to when a young child is sitting in a chair facing into a corner. As the child grows up, so do their friends. Because of more tasking school work they see less and less of their best childhood friends. Finally, in High School, there is a social stigma against those who are friends with anyone less than visible. Long gone are the days when Calvin and Hobbes romped through the woods together and sunny summer days. Calvin is training at NASA to be on the first space shuttle to another planet. He still sends Hobbes a Christmas card with a picture of himself, Suzy, and the kids every year, but no phone calls, no visits.

The Search for Self

Recently, I remarked to myself that the quest to find one's "Self" is and endless and often aimless endeavor. A person is defined by their actions and inactivity: The books you've read, the places you've gone, and people you met. In contrast, classes you've skipped, appointments ignored, and friends long forgotten are still building blocks in the great concept of "Self." In other words, in your quest to find yourself, you will eventually only find what you already knew. But why do people seek to find their "Self?" Is it because they don't understand the aforementioned truth? Or is it that they have an underlying need to remind their self where they came from. Nostalgia can be a powerful thing. Perhaps people seek to find a more ideal "Self." If you look for something that does not exist long enough, will it exist? Perhaps in your search for a better you, you might gain some knowledge from looking back over your past. Hindsight is 20/20. But suppose we are looking for a new "Self" because of a dark past, looking back at it might only aggravate the already pessimistic image we have of ourselves. So we look out and around, scouring the world for a person or culture to emulate. Then that we be our new "Self." But we never are a different person, we simply buried the less desirable traits beneath guilt, revelation, innovation, and old bedtime stories. I believe that to find ourselves, we need to see ourselves as an impartial observer. Only then would we be able to see past the backdrops that our egos or fears drop in front of us.

This being my first post...

My name is Robert Cooper. I have lived on the same block all my life. I have never been on a plane, cruise ship, or train. I dream about horseback riding in the mountains on a horse named Fireball. I have been writing a book since I was in fourth grade. I like cooking. I am the third youngest child of eight and the least intellectual of them all. I have read Les Miserables twice and found it interesting both times. I obsessively over think conversations. I'd like to think of this blog as an outlet for my philosophical, physical, and spiritual beliefs.