Acceptance: Stage 5

After suffering through the previous four stages I am at last at the end. Having come to grips with mans mortality, I've decided that it is time to accept things as they are and not assign undue blame to anyone. The Lord gives and takes and who are we to question when and how? My brother told me that everything evens out through death, that eventually everything will make sense. I guess I'm only just beginning to understand what my purpose is, and I will likely not fully understand until I have crossed the veil and enter eternity. When you read this post, think about a loved one that you lost, and you may find that the reason you no longer grieve their loss is because you discovered that they aren't really lost. They really have been found.

Depression : Stage 4

I didn't think I would really suffer through this stage, and if I hadn't had 3 vaccinations the day before I might still be stuck on stage 3. From having two flu vaccines and a tetness shot I woke up this morning shaky, nauseous, sore, and with a splitting headache. As I lay in my bed, shivering despite more than adequate insulation, my mouth hanging open, I realized just how similar my plight was to that of my fathers. Except that I knew I would get better, and I still have my mind. He has neither. I lay there thinking about how he must be feeling, perhaps only down in the very core of his being, and I was moved with empathy. And with my empathy came the bitter taste of depression at acknowledging my fathers mortality. In the case of depression, the best way to get through it is to have a rock, an anchor. Be it a person or an ideal, you need to have a sturdy element with which to whether the storm. Stay tuned my faithful readers for the eventual conclusion to this 5 part series.

Anger: Stage 2

Following close behind Denial, we have Anger.It occurs when when the deflecting barrier of Denial and Isolation wears out and the first bits of reality begin to permeate soul and body. In a frantic effort to expel the invading truth we vent. Yelling, pacing, and perhaps even violent behavior can be expected. This torrent of anger may be directed at almost anything, animate or inanimate whether it is the offending element or not. In the case of loosing a loved one, you may even direct your anger at the one you are losing or have lost. As time passes you know and remember that you love them, but you blame them for being weak, perhaps even going as far as to wish that you had never known them so you wouldn't have to suffer so. Knowing that what or who you are focusing your anger on is blameless only makes you more angry. The only way to get past this stage is to let it out. Try to vent your anger in the least destructive way possible. Screaming into a pillow and then punching it a few times is a personal favorite of mine. It sure beats letting it fester inside you and destroy your appearance and mood. After you have expunged the anger from yourself, feel free to lay on your bed and stare up at the ceiling and move on to the next step. The most important thing to remember is not to repress your anger, you just need a constructive outlet. Or at least one that will not be overly destructive.

Denial: Not a River in Egypt

Stage 1 of the 5 stages in dealing with grief or loss. Ironically, many if not most people in this stage are in denial of the fact that they are. Funny how out of reflex, when we are faced with a problem, we first pretend that it doesn't exist or that it will simply go away. I know that I did when I found out about a tragedy that would inevitably befall my family. I didn't believe it, ignored it, attempted to outsmart it, but there was no beating it. Life would play out like it was meant to and there was no way I could change it. All that being said, I know it doesn't sound like the way to go, but in all likely hood you'll end up there anyway. Just be sure that when you do, that you get a move on quick, because ignoring a problem doesn't make it go away. Things will only get worse during your time in dream land.