The Search for Self

Recently, I remarked to myself that the quest to find one's "Self" is and endless and often aimless endeavor. A person is defined by their actions and inactivity: The books you've read, the places you've gone, and people you met. In contrast, classes you've skipped, appointments ignored, and friends long forgotten are still building blocks in the great concept of "Self." In other words, in your quest to find yourself, you will eventually only find what you already knew. But why do people seek to find their "Self?" Is it because they don't understand the aforementioned truth? Or is it that they have an underlying need to remind their self where they came from. Nostalgia can be a powerful thing. Perhaps people seek to find a more ideal "Self." If you look for something that does not exist long enough, will it exist? Perhaps in your search for a better you, you might gain some knowledge from looking back over your past. Hindsight is 20/20. But suppose we are looking for a new "Self" because of a dark past, looking back at it might only aggravate the already pessimistic image we have of ourselves. So we look out and around, scouring the world for a person or culture to emulate. Then that we be our new "Self." But we never are a different person, we simply buried the less desirable traits beneath guilt, revelation, innovation, and old bedtime stories. I believe that to find ourselves, we need to see ourselves as an impartial observer. Only then would we be able to see past the backdrops that our egos or fears drop in front of us.