Rethinking Recompense

It is a common enough malady that when two persons have a disagreement of some magnitude, they will stop talking for a great length of time. The parties take advantage of this time to do one of two things: Wait until the other person comes crawling back so that they themselves can determine the terms of the relationship or wait until the other person comes crawling back so that they can pulverize the self esteem and repute of the other person further. When one of them gets too impatient, they go to the second person to try to get the next best options. They either go to swallow their pride or they go to deliver their ultimatum. When both people are stubborn enough to let it go on for some time, it can become unnecessary for a second meeting. The individuals involved move on, forget the offense, or have given up on the second person. It can be trouble though, when a person who has moved on is given an ultimatum. The "blast from the past" can open deep, old wounds. You start to think back over the time that has passed between the ugly past and the now ugly present. Bitterness sets in, and the words that were meant to finalize the matter only manage to make you feel worse. Guilt, jealousy, or anger could be the only fruits of having the last word. I will admit that there are some people really need recompense, people who figuratively spend their whole lives waiting by the phone for that last word. It would seem that the only way to avoid lasting pain and suffering is to not let issues fester, to get all issues out in the open and taken care of immediately. There may still be some pain, it may even seem extreme and unnecessary, but like taking off a band-aid, its better for a short sting than a drawn out pain.

Time: Does it Fly or Crawl by?

Remarking on the passage of time is something that man has been doing since before he was man. Since troglodytes lumbered across ancient plains, history was being made and kept. Though crude and vague their cave drawings give descriptions of their lifestyles and environment. The natives of ancient Choco Canyon spent their whole lives studying and documenting how the heavens changed over time, erecting massive monuments to mirror the cycles of the sun and moon. Through the ages mankind has been compelled to mark and represent every second that ticks by. And it is not a whim, but a divine calling. Without considering the past, one cannot fathom the future. There would be no foresight, no provision. Such an existence would not even be primal, but feral. Gorging and than starving, rather than rationing and surviving. To prevent this self destructive end, we take what we can from the past and use it to make a better future.

Meeting Our Holiday Ghosts

I'm sure everyone who reads this is familiar with Charles Dickens' "A Christmas Carol." Throughout the night of Christmas Eve he is "haunted" by phantoms of holiday seasons past, present, and future. What was, is, and may be "haunts" us all to an extent, I suppose. But as I was thinking about that story, I paused to think what those spirits might have shown me. Waking up at 5:00 in the morning and waiting impatiently for my parents to wake up at 6:00 so we could go open our gifts. Sneaking peeks at the Christmas tree and how many gifts Santa had brought. A flurry as gifts almost explode out of their wrapping, the blazing fire consuming the remains. I tried to remember a specific year, but I realized that I couldn't really. I don't have specific memories of Christmases past, just thoughts and feelings. As for the present Christmas, I'm trying to keep my expectations lower than usual. Our family has had a trying year and is not financially on its feet yet. I'm sure we have had similar years in the past too, and that's what makes those past Christmases so beautiful in my mind. That despite our situation, we have never not had presents on Christmas. We have always had something waiting for us under the tree and in our stockings. As to Christmases yet to come? I confess no small amount of anxiety over what it will be like. For two years I will be sleeping in a bed that is not my own, the familiarity of my "home town" far behind me. After that, I can hardly imagine what life will be like. Marriage, children, and Christmases of our own. It must be an interesting thing for parents to watch their children grow up like that. So today, think back to a Christmas that you loved. Whether it was as a teenager, the first as a couple, the first with a child, or just memorable. Think of what your own Holiday Ghosts might show you of your past, present, and future.